Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Unsolicited Advice.

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Anyone who has gone through the agony of losing someone she loves so much and still wishes against all odds to have that love back again. But sometimes, a love lost is a love gone forever. No amount of hope can bring back to life a relationship that just died a natural death. Set yourself free, let your heart spread its wings and fly. Remember, it may rain for forty days and forty nights but still, it will not rain forever. One day, the pouring will stop and there will be plenty of branches where you can find rest. One of these is where you will build your nest and start all over again. It’s never too late.

You may not find love and lose it but. When love dies, you never die with it. You cannot be a redeemer all of your life. The best way to weigh a relationship is through the test of fire. You cannot be a sober with your mistake forever. We all fall and make wrong decisions but our blunders are not meant to bury us deep in misery but to teach us the valued lessons of life. Loving is always a learning process. With love, we learn how to care and sacrifice. We learn to share and reach out. We learn to be unselfish and give more than we can. Then, when everything doesn’t end well, we learn how it feels like to fall and get hurt.

But learning doesn’t have to end there. After our fall, we strive to get back on our feet and move on. This is where we learn that life doesn’t end where our heartaches begin. There’s no future for a relationship of lies and selfishness. It’s true, there is life in love. But, there can still be life even after losing love, if you leave the past behind and let your heart heal and give you the chance to find yourself again.

The success of a relationship lies not only in the beauty of its beginning but its consistency. Make a choice not on impulse but on decisions based on a healthy balance of mind and heart. Let us always remember that happiness is not a matter of destiny but a matter of choice. There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon becomes a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than friendship. We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer but n the end, our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves. You don’t have to forget someone you love, what you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter of sorry for yourself. You would be better of giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving.

Don’t let your heart run you life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well. Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow. If you lose love, it doesn’t mean that you failed in love. Cry if you have to but make sure that tears wash away the hurt and bitterness that the past left with you. And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime.

It’s true that love can wait forever but it is crazy to stubbornly hope for someone who doesn’t even care or understand how you feel. Love makes us see the things through rose-colored glasses. Most of the time, we fail to recognize the danger sign that lights up along our way. This feeling you have nurtured for so long isn’t healthy anymore. You must realize that you have to go now before it consumes you and your sanity. There is always a time to think and stop, a time to be sensible and not allow your hearts to rule over your heads. You deserve to be happy not in the arms of a person who keeps you waiting but n the arms of someone who will take you now and love you forever.

If loving a person who is attached to someone else is not a crime, then, maybe, many of us would have been jailed long before we realize what its consequences could have been. Loving someone is never a sin... it’s what people do out of love that sometimes makes it all wrong. The selfish desire to want that person is what makes it a sin. Don’t think only of your feelings for real love doesn’t have a place for selfish people. When there is love, there are always sacrifices. When we love someone, we never easily give up on that person. Even if we get hurt badly, we always try to find a way to ease the pain and learn to understand and forgive. Loving too much doesn’t hurt…it’s when we expect this love to be reciprocated that we begin to seek approval and acceptance of the things we have done and when we are taken for granted and rejected, we curse the very same love that we once freely and happily offered. Don’t waste your time waiting for someone who never really cared about how you would have felt. Open your heart again and give yourself a chance to find the man who would make loving worth the pain and the sacrifice. Just like anything else, our love grows weak and dies, if not taken cared of. It can keep up with pain only to a certain extent. Beyond that, it withers without any hope of recovery and soon dies.

God wakes us in the midst of the storm to teach us a lesson. He takes away people we love so we can learn to value love itself. He makes us cry so hard so we can see clearly when we open our eyes. He makes us bitter so we can realize that there is no genuine happiness if we think only of our own needs and not of others.

Relationships built on jealousy and selfishness are doomed from the very beginning. The hardest part of losing love is letting go and moving on. Most of us cry endlessly over things that could have been but never will be. God allows us to experience pain to make us stronger and better persons. He will see us through the most trying and difficult times in our lives and only if we put our trust in Him can we learn to find joy n our tears and happiness in our sorrows. In many failed relationships, separation comes as an inevitable but moving on always proves to be twice as difficult as letting go. Sometimes, our choice to hold on is beyond the control of circumstances. Letting go is a decision that can never be dictated to us. It is a resolution we make to ourselves. Acceptance is a key to a new beginning and time is the healer of all wounds.

Even if storm casts its fearful shadow, there will always be light after our darkness and loneliest moments. There is always hope for those who believe. There is always a chance for those who try.

Losing someone we love may not be a loss at all but blessing because someone even more deserving is yet to come. There is nothing wrong in expressing our feelings to someone we love, but we must always be sensitive to the signals that tell us when to rationalize and be sensible. There comes a time in our lives when we would fall for someone who wouldn’t be as interested as we are because his attention is focused on someone else. There are many times when we love but don’t get love in return. There are many times when the sign ahead says stop but we still stubbornly head on. We would say our love is unconditional, but if it really is, then we should never feel bad. But why do we get frustrated when love turns sour? Because we still subconsciously seek acceptance and assurance from the people we care about. Being in love can be the most wonderful thing we could experience but if the feeling begins to consume our whole beings, then we have to stop and let our minds and not our hearts dictate our actions. Only when we learn to accept our fate and understand the meaning of our failures can we truly go on with life. Without having to look back and cry over the things that could have been but never will be.

Sunday, February 1, 2015

Sleepless Nights

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I woke up in the middle of the night,
Just like any other night.
My bad dream woke me up,
It is you, telling me you’re giving up.

Tears fell as I remembered that day,
You telling me leaving is the only way.
I thought it is just a dream, but no it’s not,
You broke my heart, you left a deep cut.

It kills me that I cannot make you stay,
What have I done, you’ve decided to go away.
Tell me how to make this pain stop,
Explain to me how loving you can be this hard.

As I lay down, I pretend you are my pillow,
After you left, my heart has a deep hallow.
I’m just keeping you here in my sleep,
Where my tears and love flow in deep.

As I close my eyes, I see your face,
We are still in our bubble- our happy place.
In my sleep I seem to be just fine,
Coz in my dreams, you’re still mine.

Your eyes, your lips, and your touch I’ll always remember,
Even if I fall into my permanent slumber.




Thursday, December 25, 2014

What I am Most Thankful For.

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2014 has been a challenging year for me. My faith in God and in myself was tested. But what's good about tests is that there are two results available: you succeed or you fail. Not all who face trials come out as wounded individuals. Some come out as survivors. In all honesty, I can say that I survived the test and came out as a better individual.

I became wiser and stronger to let go of things that aren't meant for me and I became braver to step on a different path which is way out of my comfort zone. I learn how to forgive the people who haven't treated me fairly. I learn to let go of hatred and chose to dwell on the positive side. It has not been an easy journey. It took me long hours of crying and contemplating.

Months of looking for the best field for me to serve as my ground zero. It was hard, and tiring and obviously a lot of effort was exerted. But after many months, I have talked seriously with myself and the Lord. I asked for His divine providence. It is really on those difficult times that we will be able to see His omniscence and omnipotence. I had encountered several rejections this  year  and sometimes I cant help but ask Him why? Or even why me? But just when I am about to lose hope and just laid to His feet everything, like giving Him the steering wheel of my life, there He took me to the right path. He really knows what my heart wanted, and He never made me settle for less than I deserve, and with that I am completely thankful.

After all that had happened, I was just thankful with everthing that has happened to me in the past year. Lord, thank you for everthing. I won't give much emphasis on the good and happy times coz I know I had made it a habit to thank You for those kind of things. But let me thank You for the trials and the struggles I faced this year because on those trials, I became a better person and also, Lord, thank you for the presence of the people I value who never gave up on cheering me when all I do was cry. Thank You Lord for Your guidance. It was You who made this all possible, and with that, I cannot find a word to describe how much I am competely thankful.


Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Recurring Question.

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Have I made someone happy? That is the question I am asking myself these past few days. I can say that if the only people that was happy because of me were my parents because I was born in this world, maybe I am living in vain.


I know, I have made people smile or even laugh, but on a deeper level, I don’t know if I have ever made someone thank God that I have them in their lives or if ever I have changed someone’s life positively. That’s the thing I wanted to know. And if there are maybe a few who were thankful, maybe that would be my proof that God has made me a blessing to others and that would be a great feeling for me. Maybe that would make me feel that I am living my purpose and maybe it would make me change the way I see myself. 

Is my circle getting smaller?

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During my two decades and three years of living, I am pretty sure that I have made quite a number of friends. From pre-school, elementary, high school, college and in the workplace, I can see that I have made many acquaintances, those people I will give my smile and wave a Hi when I see them in the hallways of the university or in the boundaries of the office or even while strolling in the mall or somewhere else. I had also quite a number of online acquaintances or those people I used to chat in facebook and even exchange a couple of tweets in twitter. 

But I would never even bother to boast about the number of my acquaintances, may it be on a personal level or just virtually, what I can boast about are the number of friends I gained during the twenty three years of my existence. I can say that I have made more than a few. I have friends whom I can count on in times of need, and not just those people I laugh and drink with during outings, night outs and dine-outs. I can say that most of these people, still belong to my circle of friends in college and high school. I don’t say that I am not fond of the people I am with in the workplace, but I just think that through the years, I do became picky with my friends whom I can really open up. Is this a sign of maturity? 

Monday, September 15, 2014

Nakaraan.

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Hindi ko malaman pero parang sakit ko nang mag-stalk ng facebook, twitter, tumblr at blogspot ng taong mahal ko. Hindi naman ako particular na may hinahanap pero parang gusto ko lang malaman kung ano ang buhay niya noon, nung hindi pa nya ko kilala at wala pa ko sa mundong iniikutan niya,

Pero napagtanto ko, sa paggawa ko nun, parang hinuhukay ko na pala ang sarili kong libingan. Bakit? Dahil hindi ko maiwasan na mapadaan, at mamalagi sa mga post o kaya litrato ng mga dati niyang nagustuhan. Kahit na dati pa yun, masakit din pala noh? Grabe! Parang kinukurot yung puso ko sa mga nababasa ko. Natutuwa at napapangiti pa nga ako nung una, dahil sabi ko sa sarili ko,  "napakacorny" naman ng taong ito.

Pero masokista nga siguro akong tunay, at talagang nagbasa pa ko ng nang nagbasa hanggang sa hindi ko na kaya. Yung tipong maiiiyak na ko at halos wala na akong lakas para pindutin pa yung Exit button sa dulong kanan ng monitor ko. Ganun nga siya kasakit.


Kung tutuusin, hindi ko na dapat yun iniisip hindi ba? Dahil ako na yung mahal nya ngayon at malaki ang bragging rights ko dahil ako ang una niyang naging girlfriend.. Pero, kailangan ko bang ipagmayabang yun? Na ako ang una? Wala akong pakialam sa kung sino ang nauna, ang mahalaga para sa akin ay kung sino ang huli...


Maraming beses man umiyak dahil sa'yo,
Ikaw parin naman ang hina-hanap ko. 
Kahit sa akin ay madaling mainis at magalit,
Pag naman ako'y nilambing, talagang sulit!

Hindi ka man madalas sweet sa akin,
Ok lang, alam ko namang di na yan kayang baguhin.
Basta ang alam ko, mahal natin ang isa't isa.
Marahil yun lamang ay sapat na. 

Hindi naman ako magaling gumawa ng tula,
Pero dahil sayo, kamay ko'y naging parang pluma.
Salamat sa pagmamahal at pag-aalaga,
Maging sa mga luha at saya. 

Hindi ka man ang una kong minahal,
Tandaan mo, ikaw naman ang magiging pinakamatagal.
Salamat sinta, ako'y mahal mo,
Wag kang mag-alala, ganyan din ako sa'yo. 

Kape.

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"We started over coffee." Sabi nga sa kanta. Parang nakarelate ako. Dun din tayo nagsimula diba? Sa pa-kape kape. Tanda ko pa noon, sa kape lang na libre sa pantry ng opisina ang afford nating inumin. Sabay lang magtitimpla, tapos kwentuhan habang hinahalo ang kape, creamer at asukal. Pagkatapos nun, punta na sa kanya-kanyang area. Pero naglaon, naging Starbucks na! Hindi naman talaga ako ang dapat na ilibre mo ng Starbucks ng araw na yun e. Pero siguro dahil talent ko ang pagpapalibre, napilit kitang ilibre ako. 

Tanda ko pa ung una nating Starbucks e. Take-out lang kasi nahihiya pa tayo sa isa't-isa. Pero di naglaon, ang "to go" naging "for here". Nagkwentuhan na tayo na kung ano-ano. Lumalabas na tayo ng starbucks na walang dalang cup dahil naubos na natin sa loob. Inaabot pa tayo ng lagpas isang oras sa pagkukwentuhan. Ang nakakatawa dito, wala namang kwenta yung mga pinagkukwentuhan natin. Inuubos nating dalawa yung inorder natin, tanda mo? Para pagbalik natin ng opisina, hindi tayo tuksuhin. Ang saya lang balikan, kasi lahat ata ng bisita natin sa Starbucks, sagot mo. Kaya msarap balikan, kasi wala akong gastos. Biro lang, ikaw naman! Eh diba alam mo naman ang motto natin dati, sagot mo ang kape, sagot ang kwento. Eh kasi hindi ka madaldal. Tahimik ka lang. Di ko nga alam kung bakit napagtyagaan mo kong pakinggan sa mga walang kwenta kong kwento. .Pero salamat sa kape ha! at salamat sa kwentuhan. 

Maraming salamat sa ilang Dark Mocha ng Starbucks, naging malalim ang samahan natin. Kape pag nanalo sa pustahan. Kape pag malungkot ako at gusto mo akong pangitiin. Kape pag puyat. Kape pag gusto lang makapgsolo at magusap. Kape pag masama ang pakiramdam ko. Tanda mo non, masama pakiramdam ko, tapos bigla mong sinabi. "Tara libre kita coffee" biglaang nagliwanag ang mundo ko at nakarinig ako ng halleluja! Sa halos lahat ng bagay, kasama nating dalawa ang kape. Di naglaon, dumami narin ang coffee brands na tinry natin. Dati Starbucks lang, ngayon, Figaro at Seattles Best kasama na sa listahan. 

Kung tutuusin, marami kayong similarities ng kape e. Una, dati ayoko sa kape pero di naglaon tila naging paborito ko. Di ko sinasabing ayaw ko sayo dati, sabihin na nating, di kita gusto dati, ngayon, gusto na kita. Di lang gusto, kundi mahal. Pangalawa, pareho kayong nagpapabilis ng tibok ng puso ko at pangatlo, para kang kape, comes in many flavors and variety of sweetness and bitterness. Pero higit sa lahat, para kang kape, hinding hindi ko pagsasawaan. 

Salamat sa mga kapeng pinagsaluhan. Sa mga kwentuhan at tawanang naganap na mga kape lang ng starbucks ang tanging saksi. Salamat at ikaw ang nagiging pangunahing kape ko sa araw-araw. Ginigising mo ako ng mainit mong yakap at matamis mong halik.