The Painful Truth About Love

Let me say this, I love reading novels but through the years of reading books, I have found a painful truth: novels blinded my perspective of love. Not just novels but also romance films and series. I sometimes think that I am a character in a my own fictional story and that in the end, I will find my one true love.
Based on personal experience, I have undergone tons of experience when it comes to the love department. Let me give a list.

• I was dumped and cheated for a girl he met online. 

• I was dumped and cheated for his ex-girlfriend he realized he still loved. 

• I had a war with the ex-girlfriend of a suitor (I counted it in since I started to like the suitor and I was on the verge of saying yes to him)

• I fell in love with a man who isn't ready. 

• I fell in love with a man who has other things in mind as a priority. 

• I fell in love with a bi-sexual. 

• Lastly, I also fell out of love with a man I know would move heavens and earth for me.  

See! Those were my past experiences in love. Every experience has a different magnitude of pain. But believe me, I thought every experience was the worst I could handle and then got disappointed that there was far something worse. But I have to give credit to these men in my life. Through them I got stronger and better.

Enough for the prologue, let me get to the main point of this blog. Love, as many people say is a feeling very diverse. So diverse that there are no exact words to describe it. But as I've read many books, my perspective of love changed. Making me expect things in my partner. You should do that. You should be like this. You should give me this. You should take me to this romantic place. You should surprise me. blah blah blah and the list goes on. You see, the core of all the disappointment is expectations. But where to this expectations come from? Yes, you got that right. Those fictional movies and films we watched and read. Some real people then have done it making us think that if that guy can do that, then why can't my partner? Then you start thinking of the things you want your partner to do to you. Fortunately, our partners are not born yesterday and they know the drill in having the girl's love. Flowers. Chocolates. Love Letters ,etc. While some expectations are easy to met, some are very improbable to do. Boys are not Edward Cullen that they don't need to sleep so they can have all the time watching you sleep. They are not Augustus Waters who knows how to say the right words, at the right time at the right place. Nor they are not even Christian Grey who is the epitome of handsomeness and wealth who can give you every thing you want and how you wanted it to be.

Expectations ruin everything. But let's face it, expectations are part of every relationship since romantic relationships comprise of two consenting adults, you form a contract which you know, both of you shall adhere to. But let me say this to you straight, true love is not a fairy tale story. It is an action-packed, drama, horror, fantasy kind of story. Action packed because you gotta survive a lot of fights. Whether it is a petty fight or a make or break kind of fight, you have to prepare for it. Horror since  you have to defend your partner from the blood-sucking and zombie looking bitches. (Ok whether they are beautiful or not, if they want to have your guy, they are called bitches. HAHAHA) Drama. You have to accept the fact that relationships will make your eyes drown in tears and your pillow will have some sleepless nights too. You have to deal with tears. And it doesn't end there, you have to face the painful truth that not everyone will approve you for him and vice versa, and yet, if you want to keep the relationship going, you have to fight for one another (action again?!). Last but not the least, fantasy. Let's be practical here. There is no perfect ending since there are no perfect relationships and also relationships are supposed to be long-lasting and not ending, right?. But let me remind you that the fantasy I am telling here is when you have him on your side and you feel like you are in the arms of angel. Or when your lips meet his you feel like you are in 7th heaven. Yes, those are true I tell you. As long as the happy moments outweigh the sad ones, never ever stop fighting for one another. 

I want you to create your own love story and don't base it on what you've read or seen. Let you and your partner write and direct it. Believe me, it is always better to encounter a true to life love story with a lot of twists and turns than a love story which we know will never happen in real life.

xoxo,
Gela