What I am Most Thankful For.

2014 has been a challenging year for me. My faith in God and in myself was tested. But what's good about tests is that there are two results available: you succeed or you fail. Not all who face trials come out as wounded individuals. Some come out as survivors. In all honesty, I can say that I survived the test and came out as a better individual.

I became wiser and stronger to let go of things that aren't meant for me and I became braver to step on a different path which is way out of my comfort zone. I learn how to forgive the people who haven't treated me fairly. I learn to let go of hatred and chose to dwell on the positive side. It has not been an easy journey. It took me long hours of crying and contemplating.

Months of looking for the best field for me to serve as my ground zero. It was hard, and tiring and obviously a lot of effort was exerted. But after many months, I have talked seriously with myself and the Lord. I asked for His divine providence. It is really on those difficult times that we will be able to see His omniscence and omnipotence. I had encountered several rejections this  year  and sometimes I cant help but ask Him why? Or even why me? But just when I am about to lose hope and just laid to His feet everything, like giving Him the steering wheel of my life, there He took me to the right path. He really knows what my heart wanted, and He never made me settle for less than I deserve, and with that I am completely thankful.

After all that had happened, I was just thankful with everthing that has happened to me in the past year. Lord, thank you for everthing. I won't give much emphasis on the good and happy times coz I know I had made it a habit to thank You for those kind of things. But let me thank You for the trials and the struggles I faced this year because on those trials, I became a better person and also, Lord, thank you for the presence of the people I value who never gave up on cheering me when all I do was cry. Thank You Lord for Your guidance. It was You who made this all possible, and with that, I cannot find a word to describe how much I am competely thankful.

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Recurring Question.

Have I made someone happy? That is the question I am asking myself these past few days. I can say that if the only people that was happy because of me were my parents because I was born in this world, maybe I am living in vain.

I know, I have made people smile or even laugh, but on a deeper level, I don’t know if I have ever made someone thank God that I have them in their lives or if ever I have changed someone’s life positively. That’s the thing I wanted to know. And if there are maybe a few who were thankful, maybe that would be my proof that God has made me a blessing to others and that would be a great feeling for me. Maybe that would make me feel that I am living my purpose and maybe it would make me change the way I see myself. 

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Is my circle getting smaller?

During my two decades and three years of living, I am pretty sure that I have made quite a number of friends. From pre-school, elementary, high school, college and in the workplace, I can see that I have made many acquaintances, those people I will give my smile and wave a Hi when I see them in the hallways of the university or in the boundaries of the office or even while strolling in the mall or somewhere else. I had also quite a number of online acquaintances or those people I used to chat in facebook and even exchange a couple of tweets in twitter. 

But I would never even bother to boast about the number of my acquaintances, may it be on a personal level or just virtually, what I can boast about are the number of friends I gained during the twenty three years of my existence. I can say that I have made more than a few. I have friends whom I can count on in times of need, and not just those people I laugh and drink with during outings, night outs and dine-outs. I can say that most of these people, still belong to my circle of friends in college and high school. I don’t say that I am not fond of the people I am with in the workplace, but I just think that through the years, I do became picky with my friends whom I can really open up. Is this a sign of maturity? 

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Nakaraan.

Hindi ko malaman pero parang sakit ko nang mag-stalk ng facebook, twitter, tumblr at blogspot ng taong mahal ko. Hindi naman ako particular na may hinahanap pero parang gusto ko lang malaman kung ano ang buhay niya noon, nung hindi pa nya ko kilala at wala pa ko sa mundong iniikutan niya,

Pero napagtanto ko, sa paggawa ko nun, parang hinuhukay ko na pala ang sarili kong libingan. Bakit? Dahil hindi ko maiwasan na mapadaan, at mamalagi sa mga post o kaya litrato ng mga dati niyang nagustuhan. Kahit na dati pa yun, masakit din pala noh? Grabe! Parang kinukurot yung puso ko sa mga nababasa ko. Natutuwa at napapangiti pa nga ako nung una, dahil sabi ko sa sarili ko,  "napakacorny" naman ng taong ito.

Pero masokista nga siguro akong tunay, at talagang nagbasa pa ko ng nang nagbasa hanggang sa hindi ko na kaya. Yung tipong maiiiyak na ko at halos wala na akong lakas para pindutin pa yung Exit button sa dulong kanan ng monitor ko. Ganun nga siya kasakit.


Kung tutuusin, hindi ko na dapat yun iniisip hindi ba? Dahil ako na yung mahal nya ngayon at malaki ang bragging rights ko dahil ako ang una niyang naging girlfriend.. Pero, kailangan ko bang ipagmayabang yun? Na ako ang una? Wala akong pakialam sa kung sino ang nauna, ang mahalaga para sa akin ay kung sino ang huli...


Maraming beses man umiyak dahil sa'yo,
Ikaw parin naman ang hina-hanap ko. 
Kahit sa akin ay madaling mainis at magalit,
Pag naman ako'y nilambing, talagang sulit!

Hindi ka man madalas sweet sa akin,
Ok lang, alam ko namang di na yan kayang baguhin.
Basta ang alam ko, mahal natin ang isa't isa.
Marahil yun lamang ay sapat na. 

Hindi naman ako magaling gumawa ng tula,
Pero dahil sayo, kamay ko'y naging parang pluma.
Salamat sa pagmamahal at pag-aalaga,
Maging sa mga luha at saya. 

Hindi ka man ang una kong minahal,
Tandaan mo, ikaw naman ang magiging pinakamatagal.
Salamat sinta, ako'y mahal mo,
Wag kang mag-alala, ganyan din ako sa'yo. 

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Kape.

"We started over coffee." Sabi nga sa kanta. Parang nakarelate ako. Dun din tayo nagsimula diba? Sa pa-kape kape. Tanda ko pa noon, sa kape lang na libre sa pantry ng opisina ang afford nating inumin. Sabay lang magtitimpla, tapos kwentuhan habang hinahalo ang kape, creamer at asukal. Pagkatapos nun, punta na sa kanya-kanyang area. Pero naglaon, naging Starbucks na! Hindi naman talaga ako ang dapat na ilibre mo ng Starbucks ng araw na yun e. Pero siguro dahil talent ko ang pagpapalibre, napilit kitang ilibre ako. 

Tanda ko pa ung una nating Starbucks e. Take-out lang kasi nahihiya pa tayo sa isa't-isa. Pero di naglaon, ang "to go" naging "for here". Nagkwentuhan na tayo na kung ano-ano. Lumalabas na tayo ng starbucks na walang dalang cup dahil naubos na natin sa loob. Inaabot pa tayo ng lagpas isang oras sa pagkukwentuhan. Ang nakakatawa dito, wala namang kwenta yung mga pinagkukwentuhan natin. Inuubos nating dalawa yung inorder natin, tanda mo? Para pagbalik natin ng opisina, hindi tayo tuksuhin. Ang saya lang balikan, kasi lahat ata ng bisita natin sa Starbucks, sagot mo. Kaya msarap balikan, kasi wala akong gastos. Biro lang, ikaw naman! Eh diba alam mo naman ang motto natin dati, sagot mo ang kape, sagot ang kwento. Eh kasi hindi ka madaldal. Tahimik ka lang. Di ko nga alam kung bakit napagtyagaan mo kong pakinggan sa mga walang kwenta kong kwento. .Pero salamat sa kape ha! at salamat sa kwentuhan. 

Maraming salamat sa ilang Dark Mocha ng Starbucks, naging malalim ang samahan natin. Kape pag nanalo sa pustahan. Kape pag malungkot ako at gusto mo akong pangitiin. Kape pag puyat. Kape pag gusto lang makapgsolo at magusap. Kape pag masama ang pakiramdam ko. Tanda mo non, masama pakiramdam ko, tapos bigla mong sinabi. "Tara libre kita coffee" biglaang nagliwanag ang mundo ko at nakarinig ako ng halleluja! Sa halos lahat ng bagay, kasama nating dalawa ang kape. Di naglaon, dumami narin ang coffee brands na tinry natin. Dati Starbucks lang, ngayon, Figaro at Seattles Best kasama na sa listahan. 

Kung tutuusin, marami kayong similarities ng kape e. Una, dati ayoko sa kape pero di naglaon tila naging paborito ko. Di ko sinasabing ayaw ko sayo dati, sabihin na nating, di kita gusto dati, ngayon, gusto na kita. Di lang gusto, kundi mahal. Pangalawa, pareho kayong nagpapabilis ng tibok ng puso ko at pangatlo, para kang kape, comes in many flavors and variety of sweetness and bitterness. Pero higit sa lahat, para kang kape, hinding hindi ko pagsasawaan. 

Salamat sa mga kapeng pinagsaluhan. Sa mga kwentuhan at tawanang naganap na mga kape lang ng starbucks ang tanging saksi. Salamat at ikaw ang nagiging pangunahing kape ko sa araw-araw. Ginigising mo ako ng mainit mong yakap at matamis mong halik. 

 

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To everybody who has loved and lost.

Anyone who has gone through the agony of losing someone she loves so much and still wishes against all odds to have that love back again. But sometimes, a love lost is a love gone forever. No amount of hope can bring back to life a relationship that just died a natural death. Set yourself free, let your heart spread its wings and fly. Remember, it may rain for forty days and forty nights but still, it will not rain forever. One day, the pouring will stop and there will be plenty of branches where you can find rest. One of these is where you will build your nest and start all over again. It’s never too late.

You may not find love and lose it but. When love dies, you never die with it. You cannot be a redeemer all of your life. The best way to weigh a relationship is through the test of fire. You cannot be a sober with your mistake forever. We all fall and make wrong decisions but our blunders are not meant to bury us deep in misery but to teach us the valued lessons of life. Loving is always a learning process. With love, we learn how to care and sacrifice. We learn to share and reach out. We learn to be unselfish and give more than we can. Then, when everything doesn’t end well, we learn how it feels like to fall and get hurt.

But learning doesn’t have to end there. After our fall, we strive to get back on our feet and move on. This is where we learn that life doesn’t end where our heartaches begin. There’s no future for a relationship of lies and selfishness. It’s true, there is life in love. But, there can still be life even after losing love, if you leave the past behind and let your heart heal and give you the chance to find yourself again.

The success of a relationship lies not only in the beauty of its beginning but its consistency. Make a choice not on impulse but on decisions based on a healthy balance of mind and heart. Let us always remember that happiness is not a matter of destiny but a matter of choice. There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon becomes a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than friendship. We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer but n the end, our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves. You don’t have to forget someone you love, what you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter of sorry for yourself. You would be better of giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving.

Don’t let your heart run you life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well. Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow. If you lose love, it doesn’t mean that you failed in love. Cry if you have to but make sure that tears wash away the hurt and bitterness that the past left with you. And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime. 

It’s true that love can wait forever but it is crazy to stubbornly hope for someone who doesn’t even care or understand how you feel. Love makes us see the things through rose-colored glasses. Most of the time, we fail to recognize the danger sign that lights up along our way. This feeling you have nurtured for so long isn’t healthy anymore. You must realize that you have to go now before it consumes you and your sanity. There is always a time to think and stop, a time to be sensible and not allow your hearts to rule over your heads. You deserve to be happy not in the arms of a person who keeps you waiting but n the arms of someone who will take you now and love you forever.

If loving a person who is attached to someone else is not a crime, then, maybe, many of us would have been jailed long before we realize what its consequences could have been.Loving someone is never a sin... it’s what people do out of love that sometimes makes it all wrong. The selfish desire to want that person is what makes it a sin. Don’t think only of your feelings for real love doesn’t have a place for selfish people. When there is love, there are always sacrifices. When we love someone, we never easily give up on that person. Even if we get hurt badly, we always try to find a way to ease the pain and learn to understand and forgive. Loving too much doesn’t hurt…it’s when we expect this love to be reciprocated that we begin to seek approval and acceptance of the things we have done and when we are taken for granted and rejected, we curse the very same love that we once freely and happily offered. Don’t waste your time waiting for someone who never really cared about how you would have felt. Open your heart again and give yourself a chance to find the man who would make loving worth the pain and the sacrifice. Just like anything else, our love grows weak and dies, if not taken cared of. It can keep up with pain only to a certain extent. Beyond that, it withers without any hope of recovery and soon dies.

God wakes us in the midst of the storm to teach us a lesson. He takes away people we love so we can learn to value love itself. He makes us cry so hard so we can see clearly when we open our eyes. He makes us bitter so we can realize that there is no genuine happiness if we think only of our own needs and not of others.

Relationships built on jealousy and selfishness are doomed from the very beginning. The hardest part of losing love is letting go and moving on. Most of us cry endlessly over things that could have been but never will be. God allows us to experience pain to make us stronger and better persons. He will see us through the most trying and difficult times in our lives and only if we put our trust in Him can we learn to find joy n our tears and happiness in our sorrows. In many failed relationships, separation comes as an inevitable but moving on always proves to be twice as difficult as letting go. Sometimes, our choice to hold on is beyond the control of circumstances. Letting go is a decision that can never be dictated to us. It is a resolution we make to ourselves. Acceptance is a key to a new beginning and time is the healer of all wounds.

Even if storm casts its fearful shadow, there will always be light after our darkness and loneliest moments. There is always hope for those who believe. There is always a chance for those who try.

Losing someone we love may not be a loss at all but blessing because someone even more deserving is yet to come. There is nothing wrong in expressing our feelings to someone we love, but we must always be sensitive to the signals that tell us when to rationalize and be sensible. There comes a time in our lives when we would fall for someone who wouldn’t be as interested as we are because his attention is focused on someone else. There are many times when we love but don’t get love in return. There are many times when the sign ahead says stop but we still stubbornly head on. We would say our love is unconditional, but if it really is, then we should never feel bad. But why do we get frustrated when love turns sour? Because we still subconsciously seek acceptance and assurance from the people we care about. Being in love can be the most wonderful thing we could experience but if the feeling begins to consume our whole beings, then we have to stop and let our minds and not our hearts dictate our actions. Only when we learn to accept our fate and understand the meaning of our failures can we truly go on with life. Without having to look back and cry over the things that could have been but never will be.

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The Painful Truth About Love

Let me say this, I love reading novels but through the years of reading books, I have found a painful truth: novels blinded my perspective of love. Not just novels but also romance films and series. I sometimes think that I am a character in a my own fictional story and that in the end, I will find my one true love.
Based on personal experience, I have undergone tons of experience when it comes to the love department. Let me give a list.

• I was dumped and cheated for a girl he met online. 

• I was dumped and cheated for his ex-girlfriend he realized he still loved. 

• I had a war with the ex-girlfriend of a suitor (I counted it in since I started to like the suitor and I was on the verge of saying yes to him)

• I fell in love with a man who isn't ready. 

• I fell in love with a man who has other things in mind as a priority. 

• I fell in love with a bi-sexual. 

• Lastly, I also fell out of love with a man I know would move heavens and earth for me.  

See! Those were my past experiences in love. Every experience has a different magnitude of pain. But believe me, I thought every experience was the worst I could handle and then got disappointed that there was far something worse. But I have to give credit to these men in my life. Through them I got stronger and better.

Enough for the prologue, let me get to the main point of this blog. Love, as many people say is a feeling very diverse. So diverse that there are no exact words to describe it. But as I've read many books, my perspective of love changed. Making me expect things in my partner. You should do that. You should be like this. You should give me this. You should take me to this romantic place. You should surprise me. blah blah blah and the list goes on. You see, the core of all the disappointment is expectations. But where to this expectations come from? Yes, you got that right. Those fictional movies and films we watched and read. Some real people then have done it making us think that if that guy can do that, then why can't my partner? Then you start thinking of the things you want your partner to do to you. Fortunately, our partners are not born yesterday and they know the drill in having the girl's love. Flowers. Chocolates. Love Letters ,etc. While some expectations are easy to met, some are very improbable to do. Boys are not Edward Cullen that they don't need to sleep so they can have all the time watching you sleep. They are not Augustus Waters who knows how to say the right words, at the right time at the right place. Nor they are not even Christian Grey who is the epitome of handsomeness and wealth who can give you every thing you want and how you wanted it to be.

Expectations ruin everything. But let's face it, expectations are part of every relationship since romantic relationships comprise of two consenting adults, you form a contract which you know, both of you shall adhere to. But let me say this to you straight, true love is not a fairy tale story. It is an action-packed, drama, horror, fantasy kind of story. Action packed because you gotta survive a lot of fights. Whether it is a petty fight or a make or break kind of fight, you have to prepare for it. Horror since  you have to defend your partner from the blood-sucking and zombie looking bitches. (Ok whether they are beautiful or not, if they want to have your guy, they are called bitches. HAHAHA) Drama. You have to accept the fact that relationships will make your eyes drown in tears and your pillow will have some sleepless nights too. You have to deal with tears. And it doesn't end there, you have to face the painful truth that not everyone will approve you for him and vice versa, and yet, if you want to keep the relationship going, you have to fight for one another (action again?!). Last but not the least, fantasy. Let's be practical here. There is no perfect ending since there are no perfect relationships and also relationships are supposed to be long-lasting and not ending, right?. But let me remind you that the fantasy I am telling here is when you have him on your side and you feel like you are in the arms of angel. Or when your lips meet his you feel like you are in 7th heaven. Yes, those are true I tell you. As long as the happy moments outweigh the sad ones, never ever stop fighting for one another. 

I want you to create your own love story and don't base it on what you've read or seen. Let you and your partner write and direct it. Believe me, it is always better to encounter a true to life love story with a lot of twists and turns than a love story which we know will never happen in real life.

xoxo,
Gela

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Ilocandia Food with a Twist

Hi there!
This will be my first legit blog post on doing a food review. Since this is my first time, I will be reviewing a one of a kind restaurant. One of a kind in a sense that the food is great and also, no branches of this restaurant is available since it can only be found in Laoag Ilocos.

Though there were many reviews about this restaurant, it is just right to have my own take and perspective regarding their food. Pardon the pictures I am going to show since I didn't have decent photos of the place. I just captured the food that we ate and also selfie of me and my food buddy.

Saramsam Food Restaurant is located at Giron St. Laoag City. This restaurant is previously located at J.P Rizal St. From our hotel, which is La Elliana Hotel, it took us around 5 minutes to get to Saramsam. Good thing the tricycle drivers of the vicinity are very kind and honest in terms of fares.

Ok enough for the chit-chat, let's go to the review proper.

My food buddy and I tried the famous dishes Saramsam is known for. Here are the dishes we've tried.

Poque-Poque Pizza- Small 8'' Php185.00

I have to say, I really became an instant fan of this dish! I am no fan of eggplant but trying this dish made my perspective change. I also love the idea that this dish is vegetarian friendly since the toppings is just made of eggplant, onions and tomatoes. Though the toppings have less variety, the taste did not disappoint. It was sliced into 8 small bite sizes. One unique factor of dish is they don't serve hot sauce but instead they serve chili oil. 

Price: 10/10 very affordable

Taste: 10/10

Saramsam Pasta- serves 1 . Php160.00

This dish is the pride of Saramsam. It is comprised of shrimps, diced ripe mangoes, tomatoes, onions and bell pepper topped with parmesan cheese. The server told us to put bagoong isda in the dish to add some flavor. I think this is necessary since for me, eating this dish without any bagoong is somewhat boring since I like dishes with strong flavors. However, I might say a little bagoong goes a long way, my travel buddy and I have put more than enough bagoong so we ended up eating a salty pasta, but that's alright, it is still edible! I will give an unperfect score on this dish due to personal preference.I do like my pasta to be saucy and meaty. That's the main reason for the grade I will be giving to this dish.

Price: 9/10

Taste: 8/10

Spaghetti Chorizo De Laoag- serves 1 Php155.00

This dish is also one of the best sellers of Saramsam. It is made of linguine pasta with generous amount of spaghetti sauce. The main ingredient of this dish is chorizo and vigan longganisa. Thank heavens for this dish! I really loved it. You see, all the things I have been looking for in a pasta is here, saucy and meaty. Hence, I will be very bias in grading this dish. I just wish it has more serving than it currently has because it left me wanting for more! 

Price: 9/10

Taste: 10/10

Those were the dishes we've ordered. Here are the drinks that we had on our visit:

Basil Iced Tea- one tall glass Php 45.00 

Sampaloc Juice- one tall glass Php50.00

The two iced teas were named differently on the menu but that's what they are. I forgot what they actually called these drinks. Sorry, newbie here. =) These two drinks tastes good. At first, I was hesitant to try these and my first choice was to have canned pineapple juice, but my travel buddy insisted to try something new since we are in a new place. Saramsam, for the nth time, did not disappoint. My only concern here is the serving size, I which they will have the bottomless feature of these drinks because they taste good. =)

Price: 9/10

Taste: 10/10

Overall, I loved my visit in Saramsam. When I will be fortunate enough to return to Ilocos Norte, I will definitely visit this place and even recommend this to my friends going to the North. The staff are very accommodating, the place is cozy and quiet and also has this home feel. The food tastes great and the price is very affordable. You will definitely get what you pay for. 

My travel buddy and I enjoying our visit to this restaurants. 

Disclaimer: This post is not sponsored and not the blogger is not affiliated with the restaurant under review . The blogger spent their own money trying the dishes. 

See you in my next time lovelies! xoxo

-Gela

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Random Thoughts.

July 8, 2014
10:09pm

I had a terrible day. I don't know what to do. I've been missing a lot of my close friends. I feel like I have been apart from the world I used to love. I don't know what happened. I don't know really. Just now, I feel so alone. It's as if no one understands me. Yes, they could console and they could tell me that I am alright, but do they know what I feel, do they know how was it like? To be alone and to be the only one in that situation? No they don't. But still I feel thankful, that even though they don't understand what I have been going through, they still manage to sit beside me and talk.

And now, I have been thinking a lot, what is wrong with me, seriously? I have been trying my best to act normal, feel normal and talk normal. But I have so much hurt and sadness in my heart that I become completely dependent on a single person and now that the said person starts to ignore me and instead of talking to me or asking me how my day was, he would go to his laptop, play and scroll the web until I don't know when and then he finally wants to sleep, he will sleep. I don't is it just me overreacting or am I missing something. I would tell him a thing or an idea and he will answer me with a harsh , irritated tone. WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU???!!! I haven't seen you the whole day and i just miss you,. but I guess you miss your laptop more, didn't you? And I don't know how immature it might sound but can you at least can you talk to me and ask me how my day was? Would it take an hour to do such thing? It feels like when I talk to you, you are very much irritated and you just want to immediately cut the conversation. Will I have the drive to talk to you after hearing such when all I can feel is that I am a distraction to whatever you are doing. Of course, I will keep quiet until my body will say that it is already time to sleep, I will go to bed and will try to sleep. As my eyes are closed, I try to hold back the tears that have been longing to go out , and yet, you are there, busy and ignoring me.

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Randomness.

Hindi ko maipaliwanag yung eksaktong nararamdaman ko kapag kasama kita. Ang alam ko lang, masaya ko kapag kasama kita, masaya ko kapag ikaw lang katabi ko. Yung feeling na hindi ko maitago yung ngiti ko, hindi ko mapigilang kiligin kapag kausap na kita, kapag naririnig ko boses mo. Kapag kayakap kita, parang nasa langit ako, parang wala na ko dapat pang hilingin kasi nandyan ka na sakin.

Ayoko ng matapos yung araw kapag kasama kita. Gusto ko lagi kitang kausap at magkwekwentuhan tayo magdamag. Lamlambingin mo ko, lalambingin kita. Gusto ko kapag kasama mo ko, makita kitang masaya at kapag ako lang nasa tabi mo, makita ko sa mga mata mong kuntento ka na sakin. Dahil dun, hindi ko na kailangang pang humanap ng iba para lang maging masaya ako, sayo lang ako, akin ka lang, kumpleto na ko. 

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To My Dearest.

November 23, 2013. I decided to finally say yes to him. He is my officemate, my office buddy, my food partner, my music jamming guitarist, he is always beside me, in stress days and in happy days. In slack and busy seasons of my life. And I wish to keep him for all of the remaining days of my life.

Our first 100 days of being together was full of surprises. And from the moment I thought I could not get happier, I actually did. A simple conversation over coffee or over beer becomes very memorable and romantic. We have been through different experiences together and most of them includes food in our mouths.:)) And it may sound unbelievable or not since we are only in the first stage of our relationship, but I actually learned many things from him and learned many things about him. He has tested my patience, he has tested my limits on far how can I go on certain things.

Yes, we had encountered some fights. It is usual right? What matters is how we solve the problem and how we became stronger after overcoming the problems. I really love him. I never thought I am capable of loving a person on such level. In a level where it is only between the two of us. In a level I have never love anyone. He is the only guy I considered marrying actually. Yes, that is how I love him, Of course not in the near future, but I just want him to be my last. I become tired of failed relationships. From being brokenhearted, from crying, from being disregarded. I am through that stuff. I am now in a relationship where I can say is composed of two mature people. Two mature people who can still be childish at heart. Yes we are that kind of couple.

He is the only guy I was never afraid to show my love in public. Maybe since I was that proud of him. I am proud to hold is hand in public. Finally, I found the person who will put an effort to fetch me from far places. The guy who will not be ashamed to bring my girly bag on public. The guy who will not be shy to kiss my forehead when he is bidding good bye. The guy who is not really the talkative type but makes sensible conversations when we are together. The guy who will actually put his arms around me for the whole time we are sleeping.

I have so many plans going through my mind. In all of my plans now, he is included. I want him to be always beside me. I want him to be happy in ways incomparable than before. I want him to experience his happiest days with me.

In times he will ran out of words to sing, I will tell him all the words he need. In times of adversary, I will be there to make things clear for him. In his drunkenness, I will be there to make him a hot cup of coffee. In his sickness, I will be the one looking out for him to give him medicine and will be the one who will cook soup for him. In his tiring days, I will be there to give him a good head and back massage. In times of stress, I will be there to bring him his favourite food. In times he thinks he is not good enough, I will be there to give him a pat in the back. In times he needs to be alone, I will be there faraway waiting for him to finally want somebody to talk to. In all his problems, I will be there to listen.  In all his success, I will be his number one fan. In all his struggles, I will be the first one who will help him stand up. In his happiness, I will be the person who will be the happiest as well. In his downfalls, I will be there.  In all the moments of his life, whether monumental or not, I want to be there. Whatever it takes, I promise to myself, and to that person, that I will never leave him. And what better way to show my love for him than to be always in his side, physically or not. I will be there. Always. 

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Hot Vs. Beautiful

I have found this article which my college professor shared on Facebook. The said article talks about the difference of hot women and beautiful women.

Being a woman myself, i have heard many criticisms about how I look  How I am gaining weight. How my hair does not fall into into its proper place. How my make-up routine has downgraded from concealer-eyeshadow-blush-lipstick to BB Cream-powder-lip balm.

Maybe I can blame my workload which is the main factor of all this mess. Lack of sleep, unhealthy foods and 12-20 hours of work everyday have been the reason.

I have lost my confidence. Pretty much from 80% confidence on how I look to almost 20% by now. I really don't know what happened to me.

However, upon stumbling into this article, it somehow increased my self confidence. It didnt bring back the whole confidence i had before but somehow it grew. Let me share an excerpt of the blog I read...

"It’s time these men are reminded of the difference between hot and beautiful. It’s time men realize that women have more to offer than just a body.

Women are stunning creatures, with assets and traits both unique and enchanting to each one of us, and it’s time we started showcasing our individuality and stop giving in to the illusion of sexy created by man. Beauty isn’t about wanting to f*ck her; it’s about wanting to be with her.

Hot is admired from afar; beauty is to be held.

Hot is perception; beauty is appreciation.

Hot is smokey-eyed; beautiful is bare-faced.

Hot is an appearance; beautiful is more than skin deep.

Hot is the way she moans; beautiful is the way she speaks.

Hot is a strong appeal; beautiful is strong mind.

Hot is youthful; beautiful is ageless.

Hot is conventional; beauty is unique.

Hot is a one-night stand; beautiful is sleepless nights.

Hot is a state of being; beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Hot is devious; beautiful is innocent.

Hot is bending her over; beautiful is baking her blueberry pancakes.

Hot is sultry; beautiful is wholesome.

Hot is her curves; beauty is her nerves.

Hot is a text message; beautiful is a love letter.

Hot is a facade; beautiful is a woman."

 - http://elitedaily.com/life/culture/the-actual-difference-between-women-who-are-hot-and-who-are-beautiful/

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My 2013

The year that has passed was certainly my happiest year, to date, of course. I have met and lost people. I have experienced the worst and the best. My patience was put to the test. My work had made me push myself to the limit. I have lost someone, but gain a better one, and may I just add that he is the best. :). I reconnected with relatives I didn't see for years. I was tasked to do harder and more complicated jobs. I became a better person. I am better, bolder, stronger and of course, happier. :) 

Let me share with you the highlights of the year that has been. My 2013 was one hell of a ride. 

First Busy Season

PnA @ 25. 

Our Freedom Day - April 15, 2013

Gawad Parangal 2013. 

Random Dates with College Friends

Random Dates with ze special people. 

PNA Summer Outing- Puerto Galera

The Script : Live in Manila

Bataan Getaway with the awesome nerds. :)

Being part of PICPA Metro Manila Region Dance Troupe

PnA Christmas Party at Circuit Makati

December Holidays with Family

Random Dates with my man. :)

For 2014, may I just say that I am ready to face whatever challenges you will bring. I have the most supportive friends, the most loving family, the most understanding partner, and most of all the most powerful God. 

I hope 2014 will be a better year for me. Bring it! :)

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